House of Ubiquity

Mystical and Mysterious Encounters in the World of Philip K. Dick

Tag: dreams

Alienus Tempus: Part Five

We are happy to present the final installment in MDK’s series. We hope you’ve enjoyed this rather in-depth series. As the author notes, feedback is welcome.This last installment doesn’t have a title, though perhaps it might be called “final five?”

-The Admins

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Welcome to the fifth and final installment of Alienus Tempus, an account of my surreal experiences many of which involve the world of Philip K Dick. Many of these events I will describe in this final installment do not directly involve Phil as the ones before have, however, they can not be discounted as meaningless. If anything, it lends more credence and voice to the authenticity of my experiences.

I’ll briefly outline what I’ll describe in this installment. I will separate them in 7 parts.

 

1. Deja Vu and synchronous experiences in Southeast Georgia and Florida in Fall 2007

2. Familiarity with assignment in SE Wyoming. Short Diversion to visit PKD’s grave, Feb 2008

3. Move to SW Pennsylvania: Deja vu, the “Hum”, “The Professor and the Kundalini Kid”

4. Gallup, NM

5. The “Hum” across America

6. Wudang Mountains and beyond

7. Conclusion

 

Part 1

Due to work issues and the economic situation in my area, I took the opportunity to take on employment with a traveling health care agency. Most assignments are a minimum of 13 weeks, and in October 2007 I was given my first assignment (13 weeks) at a hospital in a small community in southeast Georgia. It was a difficult decision to make, for I didn’t want to leave my daughter for that length of time.

Usually, the account representative of the staffing agency will set up a phone interview between the facility (hospital) and the potential employee. However, I was hired without having to interview; perhaps, my qualifications spoke for themselves or maybe it was the case he thought it cool that his middle name was the same as my first. I’m not entirely sure if that was the basis for his decision, but it is an interesting footnote.

After only one week of being there (I arrived on 10/08/2007), I had a feeling of familiarity with the area and the situations. Not quite deja vecu, but more like an extremely distant memory, a dream turned real. I also had three consecutive dreams involving PKD during that first week. I can’t recall what they were about at the moment. I have a dream journal, but hadn’t been recording as I should had.

On 10/25 I went to tour St. Augustine, Florida. While traveling toward St. Augustine, I stopped at a Florida Welcome Center in Jennings, FL, just off of I-75. As I was walking the length of the walkway about halfway to the entrance I noticed a tall man with short, light brown hair preparing to light a cigarette. He was slender except for a little bit of a belly. He had to have been about 6’6”. His eyes were squinted and he seemed to be staring at me(during the entire 120+ feet it took me to reach his location), albeit in a nonthreatening manner.

After leaving the Welcome Center I drove through Jacksonville and on into St. Augustine, where I toured the remainder of the day. I checked in to a Ramada that night in St. Augustine. The next day as I was exiting an elevator at the Ramada to check out I saw the man from the Welcome Center at Jennings, FL. He had that same squint in his eye and peculiar grin, again staring at me in only what I can describe as an “observer” mode. I don’t startle much, but this time was an exception. A few minutes later I stood in line behind him as he was checking out. He didn’t “observe” me that time. I had no deja experiences during this trip however, it was “curiously coincidental” that we encountered at the Welcome Center in Jennings (seemingly “observing” me) and then of all locations in Florida, twice at the same hotel. Something to think about, for sure.

Near the end of the first week of November I had a dream in which a mid 40’ish Phil and I were bullshitting for what seemed like hours while smoking cigars. I’m not saying this dream was “special”, but it has inspired an upcoming title “Do Real SciFi Writers Dream of Electric Cigars”. Ok, hold on to those rotten tomatoes…

I was introduced to the LOST television series earlier in the summer, and have been a fan since. While in Georgia I discovered that one of the creators (JJ Abrams)of LOST was also the creator of an earlier TV show called ALIAS, and after doing some research on the show decided to purchase the complete DVD set. Note: I had not had any deja experiences with LOST and was not expecting any with ALIAS. However (and I hope you are familiar with the show), there were two instances in which I experienced a “deja-like” experience. It was a mix amongst precognition, deja experience, and intuition, I believe. The two situations are when Agent Dixon is seeking revenge for his wife’s death, and when we realize that Agent Michael Vaughn’s wife (working with the CIA, via a separate US intelligence agency), Lauren, is not who we thought she was. Turns out, she was not as patriotic as we thought. But, I had known that before there were any indications in the show. I suppose we should keep our allies close but our enemies closer? As you will see, that theme seems to run parallel with some of my deja experiences. More evidence to come.

Not too far from where I worked is the town of Warner Robins, which is home to an Air Force Base as well as a National Air Museum. On a few occasions I would go there to visit the museum and do various things in town. I had been wanting to study the Russian language for some time, and when I visited Books-A-Million, I decided to purchase a copy of “The Everything Guide to Learning Russian”. As I was approaching the front of the store to check out I passed the deli area and there was a 50’ish couple speaking some form of Slavic language, though I’ve heard Russian enough to believe that was being spoken. However, it was an interesting “coincidence”.

Every time I left Warner Robins and traveled back to where I resided I casually glanced at the billboards that advertised a strip club that I passed en route. Nearly every time I would give it little consideration, however on one occasion I felt “compelled” to check it out. A few minutes after I entered the fairly busy establishment a beautiful young woman with long, wavy dark hair came to greet me, and we began talking. We probably talked anywhere from 30-40 minutes during that setting. She seemed genuinely interested in me, and not just my money. I left after a while and the next week I felt I should go see how she was doing. My main goal was to talk to her, otherwise, I may not have went back to the club. That second visit, we talk more (and come on you all, this is a strip club… I get 3 lap dances for price of 2 (but she throws in an extra, so I get 4!)). I ask her where she is from, and good lord… is this a small world or what? She’s from Modesto, California. I was born in Modesto, and lived there several times throughout my life. I would never have known that had I not had that initial “compulsion” to enter the first time. What does it mean? I don’t know, perhaps nothing. Maybe it was coincidental. Nothing ever became of the young lady and myself. If anything, I believe it is yet another piece of evidence for me in lending credence to my hypothesis that there is definitely some “extraneous” factor transcendent to what we normally think of, when we think of “what there is”, or what the situation really is.

Part 2

Usually contract assignments for Medical Technologists are 13 weeks, however there was a need in SE Wyoming for a tech to help out for only 4 weeks. Apparently, the tech they had contracted couldn’t make it. I was interviewed by phone and decided to accept the assignment. I realized that the PKD and his sisters resting place was in Fort Morgan, Colorado. Just a forty mile detour and I could visit. That’s just what I decided to do on 2/16/2008. Once I found their headstone, I paid my respects and thought over some things while looking at some of the gifts people (I’m assuming fans) had left near the headstone. There were several pens and even a little white plastic sheep. I went to my car and found my favorite writing pen (used only for fiction writing) and left it with the other gifts. It was rather disheartening not to see any flowers (real or fake).

I was questioning Phil in my own insane way, and requested that if he was capable, to show to T, or help me show her, that there was some validity to what I had been trying to explain to her all these years. Around that same time the wind picked up speed (although it fairly windy already) and the industrial sugar plant across the road made some kind of unique roar. I found out later from T, that around that same time (give or take thirty minutes?) as she and my daughter were pulling into the driveway at home in Missouri, they saw an owl take off from its temporary perch that was a light fixture above the garage door. I could interpret that as a synchronous event, but unlikely as this combination of events were, I still think I could chalk this one up to coincidence.

I then got back on the road toward the town where I would be working. My shifts were to have been Monday through Thursday (10 hour days). I contracted a stomach virus somewhere in that town and during two hours of my first day I had been vomiting frequently and asked the manager if I could begin training the next day. I even offered not to have considered the time I had already worked legitimate. Tuesday and Wednesday I worked my full shifts. The town is small and there was not much work to be done, so the staff and I engaged in quite a lot of conversation. Good conversation, even over differing viewpoints. One of the techs was very conservative. Despite our differences, we got along well. Nearly half the techs were international. We got along great. I also learned that the international tech that was supposed to be permanently hired in a few weeks arrived early (this is important). Near the end of Wednesday’s shift the conservatively minded tech had engaged me in religious conversation (I should have known better). We had a respectful conversation and I made a comment that I had once seen a bumper sticker that read “God is too big to fit inside any one religion”. At the exact moment I mentioned my affinity for that phrase the lab manager walks by and scours at me. The next morning, just about thirty minutes after I get there, I get a call from my account representative from the staffing agency telling me that I needed to get out of there now, as soon as I got off the phone with him and that he would call me on my way home to explain. So, I had to leave the hospital, go to the “dormitory” communal type building (a dump) and upstairs to my room, haul all my belongings through 2 feet of snow and back to my car and get the hell out of Dodge. What BS?!!! When I contacted the account rep he said that the manager had told him that I wasn’t getting along with staff and there were personality conflicts. She wasn’t even there on Tuesday. From my perspective, I had excellent rapport with everyone. I believe she was offended by what I had said about the bumper sticker and the fact that her international worker was ready to begin work immediately. Therefore, it was in their best interest not to honor the contract. They wouldn’t have to pay the agency anything. And of course, I got screwed out my travel expenses to get there and back. This dishonorable act by the lab manager did indeed hurt my professional reputation. Needless to say, I was overwhelmed with despair.

I assumed I would most likely not end up in the vicinity anytime soon, so I went to see Phil and Jane one last time, which would have been that Thursday. I didn’t stay long… however, I noticed a small brass colored object near the headstone that I had not seen before. I’ll try to describe the shape and perhaps include an image. It was like two thick brass rings had been connected tangentially at about a 70 degree angle. The inner wall of the structure was ring shaped and the outer walls were squared. On one face of one of the edges was the logo “Karma” with a copyright sign after it. It could have been there before, but for some reason, I think think that whole scenario (the Wyoming job assignment and it not working out was intentional)and I needed to see that pendent. So, if this who situation was predetermined, should I even be upset with the lab manager/hospital or the agency… or is it some Higher Agency I should be upset with? Does it even matter? Karma? Some karma… I must have done something horrible in the last life to have been shafted with the one I currently possess. Or is it a reminder that in order to transcend this realm (the unreal) we/I need to add more authentic Karma to our scale? FYI: I left Karma Ring where I found it.

Part 3

Having been wrongfully terminated from the medical staffing agency, I filed for unemployment benefits and was granted them. We decided we couldn’t further ourselves in SE Missouri and that our daughter, S, would benefit from the better educational opportunities near the Pittsburgh area. T’s best friend lived in Butler, PA and had been trying to get us to move there for some time. We decided that they (T & S) should room with T’s friend and I would find my own apartment. We were having cohabiting difficulties anyway.

In late August 2008 we packed everything and moved to Butler. I was able to rent a small apartment from a renter who had rented to T’s friend at one time in a building just 2 blocks away from where T & S would be living. The only other tenant in the old house which had about 4-5 apartments total had moved out as I was moving in. Within a couple of weeks of living there I began to hear a faint low pitched hum, about 75% of the time with my right ear. It was nearly constant when I was in the building, getting louder when I sat quietly or when I was getting ready for bed. I investigated as much as I could, taking every logical step to rule out certain causes. T, S, and their roommate could never hear it, although I could hear it in their house, as well.

It usually is described as a sounding like a faraway idling diesel engine, but I have also heard it described as sounding like a propeller plane. It seemed like a combination of the two for me. It also pulsated, mostly in regular patterns, sometimes not. I have had chronic tinnitus for years, however tinnitus is high pitched and is not sufficient to explain the low pitch of the Hum. Much of the time, along with the auditory percept, I can feel a slight vibration, but not all times.

The most well known case of this hum is Taos, New Mexico, where quite a few residents are able to hear it. Most people say it is disturbing and even debilitating. While I agree that at times I considered it an annoyance, the physical sensation itself was the least of my concerns.

I will have to admit, I have heard the Hum once before. I was about 15 at the time and we had just moved to a house just outside of Gideon, Missouri. There was a 15 foot conifer tree just outside my bedroom window. I heard that damn hum quite often and it sounded like it was coming from the other side of that tree. I used to think that it was possibly some kind of extraterrestrial event or that it was a military application.

In September I heard in my bedroom a series of sounds that sounded like snaps, crackles, and pops emanating from electronic equipment. I also heard electronic static that seemed to not only come out of the radio, but from various other locations throughout the small room. At one point, I thought I heard a voice say, “Leave”. I called T and her friend to come over and check it out. Of course, at that point it had stopped as suddenly as it had started.

The “snapshots” I was hearing (if it was projected by an outside source) may be explained by a microwave auditory effect. From Wikipedia: “The clicks are generated directly inside the human head without the need of any receiving electronic device.” It has been (and I’m sure still is) studied by the military for nonlethal applications. The article even tells of the military scientist issuing simple commands that emanate from the minds of the subject. “Leave” anybody? That has been the only incident of what I think may have been a Microwave Auditory Effect. At least, that I know of.

During this time (August-December 2008), I was catching up on the new Battlestar Galactica series and the 24 series starring Kiefer Sutherland. While watching 24 I made it through the first 4 seasons with no deja experiences (nor was I expecting any). The familiarity began occurring in the episode of season 5 in which President Logan was being implicated concerning the terrorist attacks. His wife… and Secret Serviceman, Aaron. All that was too familiar. It was less deja vu and more like I remembered watching it before. However, I have never seen that show prior, not even one episode.

In season 6 when President Charles Palmer began succumbing to the failed assassination attempt and the Vice President attempted to take over the presidency because he thought the nukes should have been deployed. Especially near the beginning of the season when the two mostly responsible for the assassination attempt had the Chief of Staff “Tom?” tied up in another room to keep him quiet. It was so surreal.

I began watching the new version of the Battlestar Galactica series, as I determined they may be a launching point to help with characterization of my own stories. Everything was fine until I saw Tigh’s reaction to the “All Along the Watchtower” music that apparently only he could here. Well, he and 3 others aboard the fleet. Instantly, I felt a sense of deja vu and I knew that he and the other 3 who heard the music were part of the “Final 5” humanoid Cylons. I hope you are or will become familiar with the show, for this really isn’t the proper forum for posting a synopsis. I’m trying to keep your attention! I hope I’m doing my job. Notice how many of my deja experiences occur when someone is being deceived? Am I deceiving myself? Am I a Cylon?

The Hum was my constant companion until I took a contract job beginning in the second week of January 2009 (for a different medical staffing agency) in Ketchikan, Alaska. I stayed 14 wonderful, rainy weeks there, Hum free. While there I applied and was granted a position in a hospital near where I lived in Butler, PA. I began my permanent position with the hospital near the end of April 2009. I moved to a much nicer apartment since I was able to save money and had obtained a good job. I was to find out a few days later that I had a roommate. The Hum had decided to share my space. This was at least 1.5 miles from my previous address where I had encountered the Hum. It was mostly constant, especially when all was quiet. It was tolerable.

LOST was and perhaps will continue to be one of my favorite shows of all time. The final episode of season 5 aired on May 13, 2009. I had never incurred any deja experiences while watching LOST until that day. The episode begins with a scene of Jacob (caretaker of the island)weaving fabric and quickly proceeds to him preparing fish for a meal on the beach. The “Man in Black” or MIB, sits next to him and they begin discussing the nature of humankind. As soon as I saw the image of the two of them together a wave of deja vu washed over me. The feeling remained for the entire scene and then faded. I should note to you that it seems as if they were playing a game, with the MIB trying to find a “loophole” in which to kill Jacob. That was the only incident of deja experience with LOST. I haven’t incurred any other deja experiences since then with any movies or television programs.

In August, after only 4 months of work at the new hospital I had to take time off due to severe symptoms of OCD and suicidal depression. Because I hadn’t been there long enough for family medical leave act to secure my position, my position was terminated despite an excellent work record. The depression was so severe I was admitted to a psychiatric hospital. This is where I met “the Professor and the Kundalini Kid”. During the 6 or 7 days I was there I befriended a young man in his early 20’s. He had light brown, wavy hair stretching to the middle of his back. He was about 5’7” and slender. He was sociable and rational when I first met him. He told me he had developed schizophrenia as a result of an adverse reaction while practicing kundalini yoga. After a few days he began to behave more suspiciously and hugged the walls as he walked attempting to be covert. We were able to have a few rational conversations. But as his condition deteriorated I began to experience deja vecu. It was like the worsening of his condition triggered the deja vecu in me. He also was convinced I was a spy. Hell, he may have been correct.

Around the time the the Kundalini Kid began worsening a tall, stocky man in his early 40’s was admitted to our ward. We started talking and found that he was an English professor at a university. I asked him if he knew of Philip K Dick, and he said he indeed did. He wrote either a thesis or a dissertation (I forgot which) pertaining to PKD. Another interesting coincidence, I suppose. We exchanged emails before we were discharged. However, while we were there I had what seemed like embedded future memories of the Professor and I discussing Phil. I remember that we were at his family’s home. I had vivid details of the scene. I didn’t say anything at that time. We emailed a few times after that, and I eventually brought up my experiences involving PKD and what I had sensed about our potential future conversations. I never heard from him again. He was diagnosed with Schizoaffective Disorder (a combination of schizophrenia and a mood disorder). I thought we were “meant” to discuss these circumstances and what we were supposed to do about them, if anything could be done. It hasn’t happened yet, and now doubt it ever will. I have not pursued further attempts at communication. He has enough problems; he certainly doesn’t need my insanity added to his own.

Part 4

In November 2009 the medical travel staffing agency I had worked with in Ketchikan set up a phone interview with the acting lab manager of a Native American hospital near Gallup, NM. I was extremely excited and honored about the opportunity to live in the area and provide my services to the Native American population and learn their culture in a more intimate manner. I must have conveyed this during the interview because the process was very quick and the manager seemed enthusiastic to have me on board. The assignment was to last 6 months, which caused me some anxiety. I really didn’t want to be away from my daughter for that long, but I thought this was an excellent opportunity to get my foot back in the door, and perhaps my only opportunity. To get there in time I left Butler on November 25 and arrived at the reserved hotel in Gallup on the 27th.

Before arriving in Gallup I decided to stop by a town called Moriarty, NM… about thirty five miles east of Albuquerque. I can’t remember the exact reason I stopped there, but I went into a small convenience store and bought 10 powerball lottery tickets (quick pick). I requested there be 2 plays each on 5 tickets. “Bob”, a kind looking older man looked at the tickets and pointed out the winner. The PB number was 7. He said because the way I had ordered them (2 plays on 5 tickets (2+5=7)) it may be lucky. The entire situation with Bob seemed familiar, another deja vecu experienced ensued. I found out much later that although I didn’t win millions (can’t a guy get a break?), the first 3 numbers of the drawn numbers was 25, 26, and 27. Those were the dates that I traveled from Butler to Gallup. I found that to be interesting.

About 5-10 miles east of Gallup lie a grouping of red sandstone cliffs about a mile north of the interstate that seem to jut out like fingers. It is an awe inspiring sight to experience. At that moment it reminded me of a dream that I once had. I was traversing small canyons, similar to these cliffs, and they resembled corridors. Along both sides of the corridors were doors that led to different dimensions or realities. I just remember searching through as many as I could in the dream. It was a surreal moment. Actually, from Moriarty on until the time I left Gallup was somewhat distressing. It seemed like I had been there before in that situation. Like a distant memory replaying itself.

As you may know, I battle Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (a severe, purely obsessional form, mostly). Nearly the entire length of the trip, I could not shake the thought that something would happen to my daughter if I wasn’t in the same vicinity to protect her. I could not shake the thought, and reinforced with the fact that the hospital was in a remote location so that I would not be able to get to her quickly, I began to panic. I stayed and toured the area the next day which was Sunday, before I was supposed to report for work on Monday. I stayed up most of the night in panic, and deeply ashamed of myself. The next morning I headed back to Pennsylvania and called my account rep to explain the situation. I was relieved that I was going back to my daughter, even though I had no place to stay (I did find temporary housing through the counseling center I attended). I just knew I had to get back. I also continued to mentally abuse myself, feeling dishonor, shame, and guilt on multiple levels.

Part 5

Once I returned to Butler, PA from my failed attempt at self recovery I spent the next 8 months in temporary housing and 4 months of that in a partially locked facility. Needless to say, I was at one of the many low points in my life. I was released on my daughter’s birthday in July, 2010. With new medications and a renewed determination I was in better condition than the preceding winter. I was still technically homeless so I resided in a group home administered by the counseling center I received services from.

On August 13 I received the unfortunate news that one of my adopted brothers (biological cousins) had drowned. His twin brother and a sister lived in the same city of Kalamazoo, Michigan. He and his twin were alcoholics and although they fought often and had a difficult life they were very close. My daughter and I were on our way to Kalamazoo when my mother called and told us he had passed away. We stayed their a few days, but a peculiar thing occurred the night after he died. I had learned that we had just missed the Perseid meteor shower by a couple of days. We were all out in the front yard talking and I was musing by myself when I began thinking about my deceased brother and how he was faring in whatever “realm” his consciousness may be in… and saying my farewell. At that moment there was a total electrical blackout that extended for about 5 or 6 blocks. The stars in the clear sky were very intense and in the blink of an eye I saw an object traverse toward the horizon at about  50 – 60 degrees to the horizon. It was very large and was a brilliant red, blue, and if memory serves me correct, green. I’ve seen many meteor showers before and never had I seen a meteor appear as large as that. Not long after that the lights came back on. I was the only one to witness the object. I scanned the sky for more meteors but could not find any. Was this an attempt at communication or affirmation of peace.

In October I had been given word that I was approved for Social Security Disability. I hadn’t even remembered applying for it. Apparently, a social worker had assisted me earlier in the year. My OCD had been bothering me immensely and I felt I had to get out of Butler or I was going to go insane. I had been thinking about a “Walk Across America” and now I had the finances to actually attempt it. My rationale was that if I could busy myself with “The Walk” I could not only get in better physical condition which would help my condition, and it would distract my mind from the mental intrusions and obsessive thoughts.

This isn’t the proper forum to get into all the details, so I’ll attempt to remain as relevant as possible. Before I actually attempted the walk which began south of Los Angeles, I spent sometime visiting attractions on the way from Butler to California. I also spent some time with relatives in Modesto before I began. My first stop was Taos, New Mexico on Monday, December 6. Known as an artist’s mecca, the small community is also known for the “Taos Hum”, which I have described earlier in this installment. I toured the town and the beauty of the surrounding land. I’ve heard that some people think the origin of the Taos Hum could lie in the surrounding mountains, a consequence of some geologic activity. I was exploring just east of Taos on highway 64 and discovered an inspiring view of a mountainous cliff. I pulled over to a viewing area to take some pictures and shut off my car and was ready to get out, when I had double checked to ensure I had turned the motor off. It seemed like it was still running… I could feel it. I pulled the key out of the ignition and stepped out of the car. I could still feel the pulsating vibration. Either the Butler Hum had followed me or I had met its Taos kinfolk.

Later that day, at the Taos visitor center, I asked a lady about it and she verified that people say the focal point is about 10 miles east of Taos. I found that out after the fact of experiencing it myself. That night as I lay quietly in bed preparing to sleep, the Taos, NM Hum hummed me to sleep.

After visiting relatives in Modesto, CA I had a prearranged “couchsurfing” engagement with a young lady in Salinas, CA. It was a very rewarding experience for both of us. I stayed with her for about 4 days and nights (strictly platonic situation) and visited sites in both Salinas and Monterey. Apparently I had a stowaway from Taos. Each night as I lie on the blow up mattress in the spare room I could hear and feel the ever present pulsating Hum.

I stayed a few nights in hostels in San Luis Obispo and Hollywood, and was accompanied by the Hum only in Hollywood. I’ve heard the Hum in my current apartment twice for about 3 months each, and have yet to hear or feel it as of this year. Why couldn’t it take the tinnitus with it as a traveling partner?

Part 6

In the early morning hours of September 11, 2009 I dreamed that I was in Baltimore, MD desperately trying to reach the White House in DC. Meanwhile, in reality a few hours later, there was a potential problem with President Obama’s safety. According to CNN the US Coast Guard was conducting exercises in the Potomac River near the Memorial Bridge where the President’s motorcade just happened to be passing.

Two years later, on November 11, 2011 a young man took a couple of pot shots at the White House. Luckily, the President was in Hawaii at the time. Near the same date, give or take a day, I dreamed that President Obama, his wife Michelle, and I were in a safe-house. I can’t recall anymore details at the moment. I lost the paper I wrote my notes concerning the dream. I didn’t have cable TV at the time and still don’t, and hadn’t been keeping up with the news, so I had no foreknowledge of the event, if I did indeed have the dream after the incident. 

Of course, both of these incidents and the occurrence of my dream timing may be completely coincidental, however, it is interesting to note that I’ve only had two dreams concerning any president, and that they occur on dates in which there was “concern” about the President’s safety. No, I haven’t gotten myself in trouble with the Secret Service, and hopefully will never need to contact them. I have their number, just in case.

As much as I can recall, the most recent prominent deja episode occurred on May 28, 2011 around 2am. I had just finished watching a documentary on youtube concerning some history of the Wudang Mountains in China. Yin Xi, a public servant and gatekeeper on the mountain met Laozi (considered the founder of philosophical Taoism), and read Laozi’s “Tao Te Ching”. Yin Xi wanted a new life of meditation, so he climbed to the top of Wudang Mountain, thinking it would be ideal to practice his Taoism. It’s a fascinating history (I still need to watch the rest of the series). It’s now a revered site and the more religious followers say that the very top of the highest peak is where one can seek immortality like the gods.

T was working a night shift and had called me around 2am, and as I was telling her about the program I watched I experienced deja vecu. It seemed like I had been in this exact same situation, telling her about the sages and Wudang Mountain, over the phone.

Just a few days later, on Tuesday, May 31 at 10:30 pm, I had decided to go to Walmart to get a few things. As I’ve mentioned before, I have no so called “friends” here, however there is one guy who is an acquaintance/friend. While driving to Wallyworld I felt the distinct, vivid impression that he was going to be there… I even whispered it to myself. As I went through the front doors of Walmart I glanced to the left and wouldn’t you know it… “J” and his girlfriend were standing near the middle of the checkouts in front of the jewelry department. Centered in the large isle around their shopping cart with hardly a soul in sight. These situations fail to surprise me anymore.

Thus far, that has been the most recent major synchronous or precognitive event that has occurred.

Part 7

It’s been some time since I’ve experienced anything peculiar or extraordinary. I honestly don’t know whether that’s good or bad. Sometimes I would think that the deja experiences were confirmations that I was on the right path, and sometimes I would think that it meant that there needed to be a “course correction”. I’m no longer sure how I should pursue these matters. If anything, the experiences that don’t directly relate to Phil, would certainly be right at home in one of his stories.

I was intending to write a memoir concerning the events I have described here on House of Ubiquity, including my battle with mental illness. To tell you the truth, it’s all in my head, my consciousness, but for some reason there is so much more locked away, unaccessible. I thought by telling my story in memoir form, I could then begin writing fiction, particularly science fiction to explore many of the themes and philosophies that rage in my mind. I think what I have done here, sharing my story with all of you who have been so patient to read about my life and the experiences I’ve had involving Philip K Dick, and other experiences not so directly related, has filled the role of what I thought the memoir would do. I’m not quite ready to begin sharing my intimate thoughts on the matter, so straightforwardly. However, I believe you can see some patterns in the nature of my experiences. And at this time, I’ll leave that for you to interpret. I believed I was running out of time and the memoir had to come first, but in part because of the creators of House of Ubiquity, I can now do what I think I need to do. Catharsis… in the form of fiction.

 

I’d like to thank the administrators of this site for allowing me to share some of my experiences as ubiquitous as they are. If you’ve read thus far, I thank you very much. If anyone has any questions, comments of any kind, critiques, arguments, etc., please don’t hesitate to contact me.

 

Vast, Active

In the spirit of the dynamic and shifting nature of these experiences, our first author, “Manfred Steiner III,” has asked to be allowed to publish some “disconnected notes and follow-up thoughts.” Please be aware that this piece was composed after Steiner had finished reading Mr. E’s entry; references to the previous author refer to him and not MDK. He also wishes to express that, since composing this, his conclusions have changed significantly, though not in a way he is ready to write about at this time. We are happy to have some insight into this process, and hope other authors will consider doing the same thing in the future. This project is about discovery; current research is always welcome.

-The Admins

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Like the individual in the previous entry, when I began reading the Exegesis, I found pieces that almost directly mirrored conclusions and ideas of my own. Some of the ideas I was familiar with, having read Dick’s work as well as the previously-available material from the Exegesis, but others would have been unknowable, except to the editors. This includes ideas about space and time, specifically about time as not just non-linear but much more nuanced and self-influencing. It included ideas about the universe as a subset of some other reality, or at least as the major object in a game or system which extended beyond its mere form. It included ideas about human suffering and cruelty, about the android nature of the universe, which is not evil but simply uncaring, about the Logos, the living language that breached realities, about knowledge as a real force itself, about identity as an iterative, overlapping thing, about synchronicity as the modus operandi of the living mind of the world.

I’ve come to an understanding that is hedged in some of Dick’s conclusions, but which he never fully settles on and which I’ve never heard anyone else express. Somewhere in Cosmogony and Cosmology, he briefly alights on an idea that the universe is a learning machine, wherein God might accumulate knowledge or experience. He also suggests that the universe is the literal womb of God, and that we are giving birth to God – an idea that I find beautiful if not correct. I essentially believe a version of the former to be true. The strong pushing-through of information I experienced, which both mirrored the action in Ubik and seemed to point to its central idea about reality, led me without much issue to Gnostic ideas; of course, I’d already been exposed a little from reading Valis. But therein I saw a cosmology and a religious aspect, and found that only the cosmology held weight for me. What I retained was the idea of the universe as somehow partial. I retained the idea of emanation, to some degree, and of being “selected” to have some measure of this hidden knowledge revealed to me.

I essentially believe that the universe is a false or at least limited part of total reality. I believe that a meta-entity – not (necessarily) god, but like god in many ways – which is comprised of a shifting set of permutations of individual aspects, has exploited this physical universe for its own purposes. The entity has realized that its near-perfect intellect has prevented the development of character, and, in the drive to better oneself which lies at the heart of human life, realized that only by limiting itself could it grow. So it drops its aspect – a small portion of the whole – into occluded human lives. Upon death, the experiences of each being are absorbed into the whole. Some of us have more of that substance, or more awareness of it (or perhaps only some of us are truly “real” at all); this makes for a richer life, but also means that the entirety of the truth cannot be hidden. More of this substance inherently means more awareness – that’s the nature of the entity.

This essentially means that reincarnation is correct, but only to an extent; I may be reincarnated in two different people, each sharing my essential nature with another. I often feel as though my wife and I are both reincarnations of Phil, with his own internal polarizations split evenly into two people. Is this sounding crazy enough yet?

I also struggled with the idea of Sophia for a while. I had an experience one night, well after these things had happened but while I was knee-deep in the Nag Hammadi documents. In the moment before falling asleep, I allowed myself to extend a feeling of need outward. Almost instantly, I was struck with the presence of a feminine force, one which seemed utterly familiar. She gave me a thought, pure and clear: she told me “All love is perfect. Even yours.”

I struggled with this for a while, but settled eventually on the understanding that meta-entity has certain access points, if you will, which are not physical but experiential and can be accessed by the driving force of desire. Sophia is a part of the entity, available to those who know how to contact her, in order to keep us stable in our limitation. She is, therefore, also part of us.

It’s come to my attention that quite a few of those who have had “these experiences” are writers. I feel strongly that there’s something in the personality profile of those of us who have been exposed to this knowledge which makes us prone to telling stories. It’s a thread I see running through Gnosticism as well, and which clearly includes PKD. In many ways, I think this is the way in which any insights or ideas found through these experiences can best be expressed and disseminated in their most meaningful form. Like one of the previous authors, I worry that too many of us shifting too much focus to this more explicit investigation of ideas is the wrong path; however, I think developing a touch-stone for sharing the difficulties and maintaining a sense that these are real and valid, not to mention shared, experiences can be valuable. I only wish to ask that anyone else out there not lose focus: Dick’s biggest influence, even with respect to the ideas he fleshed out more fully in his Exegesis, still comes from his fiction. Through this, often without being recognized, his central concerns have permeated our culture. This is something that could never have happened through philosophy and theology alone; it needs stories to thrive.

There’s a passage on page 22 of the Exegesis, starting toward the bottom, where Dick talks about feeling as though Bishop Pike was occupying his mind and life. The most succinct summary I could make of my own experiences would be that same paragraph, but with my name where Dick’s is and Dick’s name where Pike’s is. From there, I began a journey that extended beyond that initial moment, much as Dick did – a process of research and discovery, of insight and further synchronicity. It is still quite active.

Getting What You Ask For

A Note from the Admins: We’ve received our first account! This mind-bending tale comes from “Manfred Steiner III,” a pseudonymous submitter who has provided no background info. We’re glad someone got on board so early, and we hope this will kick things off with a bang. Thanks to Manfred for his comprehensive and insightful account.

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It was around August of 2010 when my experience occurred. I had just gotten a new laptop – a birthday present from my future wife – a month earlier. On the hutch above the computer had been a small, wooden globe. At the top was a small spike – the tip of the axle which allowed the globe to rotate. The cats, while we were out one day, had knocked this down, sending the little spike into the top of my closed computer. When I opened it up, the screen was all wonky, the liquid having been set loose behind the film of the screen. On the surface of the lid was a small dent.

I was devastated. To shake off the crappy feeling, we decided to drive out to the Salvation Army. This particular location was about an hour away, in the middle of nowhere. Nothing much beside Mennonite communities existed in that direction.

As we were driving, I sighed with disappointment. F asked me if I was alright. I was; I have a sense of humor about misfortune. It was in that spirit that I shook my fist at the sky and proclaimed, “You owe me a Philip K. Dick hardcover!” Up until this point in my life, I had always been essentially an Athiest, in the “without god” sense; I still am. Shaking my fist at the sky was meant to be funny. However, the feeling behind it was quite real.

When we got to there, we set about scouring the bookshelves. F started on the opposite side; as I was scanning cover after cover, I head her say my name. I came to see what she had found.

It was a pristine, untouched hardcover edition of “Counterfeit Unrealities,” an anthology of four novels, including Ubik, A Scanner Darkly, Androids, and Three Stigmata.

I stood there in shock. What is the appropriate response to getting what you ask for when you make demands of the sky? We went home, my world beginning to tilt.That night, I had a strange sensation. It seemed that the book was transmitting. I was uneasy.

I woke up abruptly to F telling me about a very unpleasant dream she had. Some details are personal, but the basic events involved the decaying of a person into a state resembling a pile of meat, as well as other forms of physical decay. The spirit of these events, as well as the details, reminded me quite a lot of a book I had read the previous year, long before I found the anthology which also contained it – Ubik.

I was worried about telling this to F, but I tried anyhow; I will always remember her saying, in frustration, “This is not about Philip K. Dick!” I had been trying to get her to read something of his for some time, but had so far been unsuccessful; I think she was already feeling overstimulated by my talking about him.

Other dreams followed, too many to get into here – dreams with elements from Ubik, forces that seemed to resemble Jory – cunning, deceptive, preying on the familiar. Days later, we were at F’s mother’s house again. The severity of the dreams had been disturbing F greatly, and she shared some of them with her mother. Her mother responded by telling us a dream she had had. In the dream, she was walking down one of the main streets in our area, past the area where there now stands a CVS. As she walked past, the facade of the building changed, giving way to an old drug store. She entered, and inside, the entire place was old, like the five-and-dimes of her youth. She picked up a book, the pages of which showed moving images – images of her life, of her childhood, which changed as she looked at them.

I said nothing. The next day, over lunch, I pulled out the book – the new one I had found – and read F the passage from Ubik which corresponded to her mother’s dream. The connection was even less tenuous that those in F’s dreams. It was direct.

This was a strange situation. The book had appeared at my demand, but the dreams were not mine. They all related specifically to Ubik. I was the only person involved who had read that book. I held the information that connected all these experiences, but they branched out beyond me. There was sufficient complexity in the situation that I could not simply ignore it. There were other people involved, which showed me that this was not simply a personal experience, but something that connected to a larger message or truth.

As I pondered the experiences, the first conclusion I came to, the only one that made sense at the time, was that I was dead. The book was brought into my realm of experience in a way that implied intent. It contained information I was already privy to as fiction, in such a way as to offer commentary on said information. In the book, when information is “placed” into the reality of the characters, it serves to make them aware of their true situation – that they are dead and in stasis. All the strangeness of my life seemed to fit into this notion.

Months later, we returned to that same Salvation Army, having had a “feeling;” I even asked for a PKD hardcover again. In the same place we’d found the Dick book before there was a copy of the Gnostic Bible – hardcover, perfect condition. In the intervening months, I’d already acquired a copy of the Gnostic Scriptures, the first printing – my father happened to have it. It was almost as if the second coincidence was a joke and a commentary – I’d been led to those texts already, and that was where I needed to be. On the way out, I happened to glance at the very small “religion” shelf – where I found a hardcover edition of the comic book adaptation of “A Scanner Darkly.” Again, it seemed like a joke – I’d found a hardcover PKD book, again, like I asked for, but it was the bullshittiest one possible. And on top of that, I’d found it in the religion section, while I’d found the Gnostic Bible in the same location as the first book.

Time went on, and I tried to parse the particulars of this. I looked for evidence of others who had similarly “mystical” experiences, in particular relating to PKD. I looked into Gnosticism, an inevitable end to all of these things. There I began to find some answers that made sense. It wasn’t as simple as my being dead. The world as I knew it, and perhaps everyone in it, was unreal or occluded; this was all a sort of Cold Pak. It was a startling cosmology, but a lot was still missing. I had felt the sense of intent, but it hadn’t seemed divine; it had seemed otherly, but human. I responded to the cosmological aspects of Gnosticism, but could never understand why it got tied up in Jesus, or even religion proper. Without getting too far into my beliefs, I’ll say this: I have a lot of respect for the Gnostic Christians I’ve encountered who’ve gotten there via PKD. In the end, though, I was led, through those ideas, to a different place.

I finally got F to read some Dick – I think the weight of the weirdness made it inevitable. Now we scour used bookstores together, that gleam in both our eyes. I still have inexplicable experiences from time to time, though never with as much clarity or obvious intent as that first time.

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